Important things in life

What's important in life? I tell you what's important. Food and love...in that order! No wait, maybe it's love first, then food...coz if someone loves you, then they'll feed you right? Yeah, so that's what's important in life - Love and Food!

What is love? I tell you what love is.

Love is...when dad and mum are home with me.

Love is...when I get to curl up on the sofa with dad or mum, or both of them.

Love is...when I get a fresh bowl of food every night...oh wait, that's food. Sorry!

Love is...when dad and mum get home at night.

Love is...the feel of grass under your feet after being cooped up in the house all day.

Love is...wallowing on your back on grass. Or sand, if I'm at the beach.

Love is...jumping into the sea to chase the frisbee (have I mentioned that I've got a new one?!)

Love is...playing catch with dad at home.

Love is...seeing dad first thing in the morning.

Love is...falling asleep on dad's lap. Or mum's lap.

Love is...curling up in my bed every night after dinner, when mum and dad are watching telly.

Love is...a bit of chocolate and ice-cream...oh wait, that's food again! Sorry...

Nothing else is more important than food...I mean, love! Love is the most important. I love dad and mum. Mum always says that dad's my favourite - but he's loved me the longest. And I know that she knows that it's true. But I try not to make it too obvious...! I mean, I love mum as well...but dad's the real softie, he plays with me more, and he doesn't scold me as much as she does. So you can't blame me for playing favourites right?

Now food...what can I say about food?

Food is one of the luxuries in life. I never turn down food...especially human food. I mean, what's this distinction about human food and dog food? As far as I'm concerned, all food is created equal. If I can eat human food, then obviously it's not human food right? It's just food!

What do I love about food?

Food tastes great! I love chocolates and ice-cream, I love yoghurt, I love meat and rice. But you know what? If there's one thing that I can't stand...it's vegetables. Now what's all that about? They don't taste of anything...most of the time, they actually taste bitter, so that's gross. And there's no real 'consistency' to vegetables is there? Sometimes they're crunchy, sometimes they're soft, and they're never chewy. You can't chase it (like a ball), you can't throw it about (like biscuits) and you can't pick it up with your paws and chew at it (like bones).

And the colour! I mean, green! Who wants to eat green stuff? All food should be red or pink or brown...like meat and biscuits. Green food is just disgusting. If I wanted green food, I'll just go and eat grass at the gardens. And I already do that anyway! I don't need green stuff in a bowl. It grows on the ground. That's a cop out, vegetables...pish!

If I ruled the world, all food will be red or pink or brown, has to be crunchy (like biscuits), or chewy (like meat), has to be sweet (like chocolate) or salty (like meat), has to be cold (like ice-cream) or at least room temperature. I could teach humans a thing or two about food!